She Sent Me Exactly Zero Inspo Photos.

And I Loved That.

There are usually two types of messages sitting in my inbox before a family session.

The first is a Pinterest board. Outfit screenshots. A TikTok somebody saved six months ago. Twelve poses from four different photographers. A blurry photo of a family running through a field with some variation of, “I HAVE to have something like this.”

And genuinely, send me the shit you love. I want to know what you're drawn to.

Then there's the other kind.

Nothing.

No Pinterest board. No screenshots. No shot list. No “can we recreate this?” text at 11 p.m. the night before.

Just: I trust you.

That's what happened with this family.

And before somebody reads that as me saying inspiration photos annoy photographers, absolutely not. Sometimes they tell me something really useful about you before we've even met. Maybe you keep saving close-up photos. Maybe you're obsessed with movement. Maybe you want more photos of your kids together because somehow you have 4,000 pictures of them individually and approximately three where they're both in the frame.

That information is useful.

But there's a difference between showing me what you love and showing up with an itinerary for what our photographs are supposed to look like.

This session had no itinerary.

So I got to watch them instead.

What happens when you let a family session become its own thing

Pretty quickly, I knew I didn't need to manufacture much here.

Their older daughter had enough personality for all of us. Their baby was happy as hell. Dad was completely willing to play. Mom wasn't spending the entire session trying to make everyone stand correctly.

So we worked with that.

We got the everyone-looking photo because yes, I know somebody's mom is going to want it framed.

But then the girls were on the ground together. Dad had the baby up in the air. Their oldest ended up completely upside down. Everybody piled into the grass. I photographed little hands tangled together because I noticed them.

Mom and Dad even got to exist as two people who like each other for a minute instead of exclusively being the people responsible for keeping two small humans alive.

None of those things came from an inspiration board.

They came from paying attention.

And I think that's the part of family photography that can get lost when we're trying too hard to make our pictures look like pictures we've already seen.

Do you need to send your photographer inspiration photos?

No.

Also: you absolutely can.

Very helpful answer, I know.

But if you've been looking at family photography on Pinterest or Instagram and you're starting to think you need to build an entire creative brief before booking your session, you don't.

You don't need to know poses.

You don't need to know what to do with your hands.

You don't need to send me a mood board.

You don't need to research family photo ideas so thoroughly that Pinterest starts wondering if you've developed a new hobby.

That's part of what you're hiring me for.

If you have something you genuinely love, though, show me. Inspiration can tell me a lot.

Maybe you send me five photos and every single one is really close and intimate. I'm going to notice that.

Maybe everything you save has movement.

Maybe you love grain.

Maybe you hate traditional portraits but your husband really wants one.

Maybe there is one very specific photo you've wanted with your daughter since she was born.

Tell me those things.

I just don't need us to spend your session recreating somebody else's family.

Inspiration and replication aren't the same thing

This is probably my biggest distinction.

If you send me a photograph and say, “I love how this feels,” great.

Now I know something about you.

If we spend the next hour trying to put every hand, head and child exactly where they were in somebody else's photograph, we're probably going to miss the better stuff happening right in front of us.

Because your family doesn't interact like theirs.

Your six-year-old might think being held upside down is hysterical. Their six-year-old might consider that an act of war.

Your baby might think Dad tossing her into the air is the greatest event of her young life. Another baby might immediately decide the session is over.

One couple naturally messes with each other. Another is quieter. One toddler needs ten minutes before they'll even acknowledge I exist. Another is showing me a rock they found within 45 seconds of meeting me.

That's the good shit.

That's what I want to photograph.

Not because there's anything wrong with posed family pictures. I take those too. But the photographs that make a gallery actually look like your family usually happen when I have enough room to respond to the people standing in front of me.

“But I have no idea what we're supposed to do.”

Perfect.

You don't need to.

I think sometimes people see candid-looking family photography and assume the photographer just stands 30 feet away hoping something cute happens.

God, no. We'd be there until November.

There is still direction.

I'll put you somewhere because the light is good. I'll tell you where to stand. I'll move somebody's hand when it's doing something weird. I'll give your kids something to do. I'll get you closer together. I'll tell Dad to grab somebody. I'll change things when they're not working.

The difference is that I'm not trying to control what happens after that quite so much.

I might start something because I know it'll photograph well, but what your family does with it is usually more interesting.

That's how you get photographs that have some life in them without expecting a family with young children to spontaneously create an editorial campaign in a park.

There's method to the chaos.

What I actually want to know before your family session

If you're booking family photos with me in Peoria, Pekin, Morton, Washington, East Peoria or anywhere else around Central Illinois, I care much more about knowing you than knowing which Pinterest poses you've saved.

Tell me who's shy.

Tell me your toddler is currently obsessed with dinosaurs and may answer every question with a roar.

Tell me Dad hates having his picture taken.

Tell me your oldest is in a stage where she wants absolutely nothing to do with her younger sibling.

Tell me your baby is happiest when she's moving.

Tell me there's a particular relationship you really want photographed.

Tell me you haven't had a good picture with your kids in two years because you're always the one taking them.

And please tell me if there's something specific you absolutely want.

Want a photograph of all four of you looking at the camera? Easy.

Want one of just you and your daughter?

Want Dad with both girls because somehow that photograph never exists?

Want a picture where nobody is looking at me at all?

That's information I can actually use.

You don't need to tell me exactly how to create it.

Why choosing your photographer matters more than choosing your poses

This is also why I will forever tell people to look through more than three Instagram posts before hiring a photographer.

Don't book somebody because they took one photograph you loved.

Look at a full gallery if you can.

Look at different families. Different ages. Different lighting situations. Look at what happens beyond the hero image that made it onto Instagram.

Do you still like the work when everyone isn't wearing beige?

Do you like the close-ups?

Do you like the photographs where people aren't looking at the camera?

Do you like how kids are photographed?

Do the galleries have variety, or are you seeing the same six poses with different people plugged into them?

Most importantly: can you imagine your people being photographed that way?

Because if you can, you don't need to arrive knowing how to make it happen.

That's why you hired the photographer.

Your family photos don't need to look like somebody else's

Pinterest is incredible for figuring out what to wear for family pictures. It's great for discovering locations, colors, styling and photography you didn't even know you liked.

Instagram is basically one enormous inspiration folder.

Use both.

But somewhere along the way, I think we've accidentally created this idea that preparing for family photos means deciding what the finished photographs should look like before we've even taken them.

I'd rather leave some room.

Because there was no Pinterest screenshot telling this family's oldest daughter to hang upside down while Dad held her.

There wasn't an inspiration photo for those tiny hands.

Nobody sent me a reference image for the sisters lying together in the grass.

And there definitely wasn't a shot list item that said, “Dad holds baby while everybody is moving and Haley photographs the whole thing through something blurry because apparently she's feeling artsy today.”

We made those photographs because those were the photographs that belonged to this session.

That's the difference.

What if you DO have a giant Pinterest board?

Send it.

Seriously.

I'm not sitting at home grading your inquiry based on how much creative freedom you've given me.

If you've been saving family photo inspiration for three years, I want to see what you've been saving.

I'll probably look at the collection differently than you do, though.

Instead of thinking, okay, we need to recreate numbers 2, 7, 11 and 14, I'm looking for patterns.

What keeps showing up?

Movement?

Really close photographs?

Lots of black and white?

Parents playing with their kids?

Editorial portraits?

Messier images?

Simple ones?

Those patterns tell me far more than one individual pose ever could.

So send the board.

Then let me translate what you like into something that actually works for your family.

The best compliment you can give me before we've even taken the pictures

“I trust you” is a terrifying sentence if I'm being completely fair.

Because now I actually have to deliver.

But it's also one of my favorite things a client can tell me.

Not because I need total creative control over your family. These are still your photographs, and what matters to you matters to me.

It's because trust gives me permission to notice.

I can stop thinking about whether we're checking enough boxes and pay attention to the little stuff happening between the obvious photographs.

I can try something weird.

I can shoot through something.

I can let your kid stay upside down for another ten seconds instead of immediately putting everybody back into position.

I can make the safe photograph and then make the one I wasn't planning.

And sometimes the second one ends up being the reason I love the gallery.

That's pretty much what happened here.

She sent me no inspiration photos.

She didn't hand me a list.

She trusted me to look at her family, figure them out a little bit and make something that looked like them.

So that's what we did.

If you have 37 screenshots saved for your family session, bring 'em.

If you have absolutely nothing besides a family who needs updated pictures, bring them.

I can take it from there.